If you ever needed proof that karma has an absolutely ruthless sense of comedic timing, look no further than King Street, Melbourne, where a man trying to apologise for his mate’s behaviour was knocked unconscious by a flying chair—thrown by that very same mate.
The whole beautiful disaster unfolded outside Bar 20, a strip club in Melbourne’s CBD, last Friday night. Two blokes had rocked up around 9pm for what one can only assume was meant to be a quiet night of sophisticated entertainment. It did not stay quiet for long.
Things went pear-shaped when one of the men decided to share his thoughts on customer service with a barmaid. She’d hesitated while opening his VB—possibly sensing the kind of energy this particular patron was bringing to the establishment—and he responded with the immortal words: “Just open the f–king beer.” Charming. The kind of smooth operator who definitely has strong opinions about which craft beers are overrated.
Staff promptly ejected both men, which is where an already cooked situation became an eight-minute masterpiece of escalating stupidity. Bar 20 co-owner Michael Trimble would later describe it as “a crazy long time for an ejection,” which is the hospitality industry equivalent of saying “these dickheads really committed to the bit.”
Once on the street, our VB enthusiast picked up a bollard and briefly considered using it as a weapon. He then—in what may have been the only smart decision he made all night—thought better of it. Perhaps a moment of clarity. Perhaps the bollard was heavier than expected. We may never know.
But he wasn’t done. While security watched, this absolute unit marched next door to a Korean restaurant and grabbed a wooden chair. Staff tried to stop him, reportedly protesting that it was their “top chair.” Whether this meant it was their best chair, their most expensive chair, or simply the one on top of a stack remains unclear. What is clear is that the restaurant is now down one chair and up one incredible story to tell customers.
Here’s where the universe decided to deliver the punchline. While all this was happening, his mate—the other bloke who’d been kicked out—had actually gone back to the club’s entrance to apologise. According to Trimble, “He had actually changed his tune and was apologetic. He was standing there apologizing for his mate’s behaviour.”
Read that again. This man was actively apologising for his friend. He was trying to make things right. He was being the reasonable one.
And that’s precisely when his mate launched the chair.
The footage shows it sailing through the air, missing the security guards entirely, and connecting with the back of the apologetic bloke’s head with the kind of precision you usually only see in slapstick comedies. He went down like a sack of spuds. Out cold. Betrayed by furniture and friendship in a single devastating moment.
The CCTV footage hit the internet and absolutely exploded. Twenty-seven million views in 24 hours. The whole world watched a man get knocked out by his own mate outside a Melbourne strip club, and the whole world collectively thought: “Yeah, that tracks.”
Trimble, who’s spent 12 years in the hospitality industry, put it best: “I’ve seen plenty of instances of people making clowns of themselves. But nothing with the potential to go viral like that.”
Even the Betoota Advocate ran with it, their headline reading: “Man With A Lifetime Of Drunken Regrets Finds Solace In The Fact That He’s Never Knocked Out His Mate With A Flying Chair That Was Meant For A Bouncer Out Front Of A Strip Club.” Which, honestly, is the kind of perspective we all need sometimes.
The chair-thrower’s current whereabouts are unknown, though one imagines he’s been doing a lot of apologising himself lately. As for the victim, hopefully he’s recovered—and hopefully he’s reconsidering his choice of drinking buddies.
If there’s a lesson here, it’s this: if your mate gets kicked out of a strip club for being a dickhead, maybe just let him sort his own problems out. Because if you try to apologise on his behalf, there’s a non-zero chance you’ll end up unconscious on King Street with 27 million people watching.
And that Korean restaurant did get it’s chair back.
Source: news.com.au
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